1. Agwambo’s Calendar goes straight from
March 31st to April 2nd…. no one fools
Agwambo.
2. Whenever Agwambo wants to dump his
girlfriend, he says: “ it’s not me, it’s you!”
3. Jesus could walk on water, but Agwambo
can swim on land.
4. In fine print on the last page of the
Guinness Book of World Records it notes that
all world records are held by Agwambo, and
those listed in the book are simply the
closest anyone else has ever gotten.
7. Agwambo faked his death for 13 years…
they call that period of time the great
depression.
8. Did you realize that there wasn’t number 5
and 6? Add them in your comments
9. Once a Python bit Agwambo’s leg. After
five days of excruciating pain,The Python
died.
10. If you spell Agwambo wrong on Google it
doesn’t say, “Did you mean Agwambo?” It
simply replies, “Run while you still have the
chance.”
11. Agwambo can delete the Recycling Bin.
12. Agwambo can climb a tree with his hands
in his pockets
13. When Agwambo was born, only one
person cried ..The Doctor. No one ever slaps
Agwambo to make him cry.
14. Have you thought of this Agwambo guy?
Fill in additional comment about him…
15. Agwambo counted to infinity – twice.
16. There are two types of people in the
world… people that suck, and Agwambo.
17. Agwambo once went skydiving, but
promised never to do it again. One ‘Rift-ed
valley’ is enough.
18. Agwambo can win a game of Connect
Four in only three moves.
19. Some people say that Agwambo is a
myth. Those “some people” are now dead.
20. Agwambo can watch an episode of 60
minutes in 22 seconds.
21. Agwambo lost his virginity before his
Dad.
22. Agwambo can kill 2 stones with one bird.
23. Death once had an Agwambo experience.
24. Agwambo is the only person in history to
beat up his shadow.
25. Agwambo does not use spell check. If he
happens to misspell a word, Oxford will
simply change the actual spelling of it in the
latest version dictionary.
26. Agwambo is NEVER late, nor is he early,
he arrives exactly when he means to.
27. There is no theory of evolution, just a list
of creatures Agwambo allows to live.
28. Any additional though on Agwambo? Add
them
29. Apparently the writers of the song ”I will
survive” never met Agwambo.
30. Agwambo invented cd’s by staring at
some vinyls on a record store.
31. Agwambo is the only man known to have
beaten a brick wall at a game of tennis.
32. This one time, Agwambo ate an entire live
elephant. And he wasn’t even hungry.
33. Agwambo will never have a heart attack,
his heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack
him.
34. Agwambo NEVER makes mistakes. He
thought he did once, but he was wrong.
35. When Agwambo jumps into the lake, he
doesn’t get wet, the lake gets Agwambo.
36. Agwambo once got into a knife fight. The
knife lost.
37. Agwambo was born in a mud cabin he
built with his own two hands.
38. Agwambo doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes
the earth down.
39. Jesus died and woke up after 3 days, not
to be outdone Agwambo killed himself and
woke up after 3 minutes: no one can kill
Agwambo.
40. Agwambo doesn’t wear a watch, he
decides what time it is.
41. Agwambo was once on Omo Wheel of
Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29
minutes of the show consisted of everyone
standing around awkwardly, waiting for the
wheel to stop.
42. Agwambo proved that 2+2 = 5.
43. Unknown to most scholars Agwambo was
the fourth wise man, and gave Jesus the gift
of beard. Which he wore proudly throughout
his life. Jealous of Jesus’ favor of this gift, the
other three wise men conspired to keep
Agwambo out of the bible. They all died
‘Ngeta’ choke related deaths.
44. What happens when an unstoppable force
hits an unmovable object? We’ll know the
answer when Agwambo punches himself in
the face.
45. Agwambo doesn’t read books, he stares
them down till he gets the info he wants.
46. God is in Heaven and The Devil in hell
because they just wanted to stay out of
Agwambo’s way.
47. Water used to flow upstream. Agwambo
just didn’t like it. That’s why it flows
downstream nowadays.
48. Agwambo can divide by zero.
49. When Agwambo goes to donate blood, he
declines the syringe, and instead requests a
hand gun and a bucket.
50. The Bible was originally called “Agwambo
and friends”
51. Agwambo can breathe in and out at the
same time, without taking a breath.
52. Agwambo can judge a book by its cover
53. Agwambo told God it would’ve only taken
him 5 days to create the earth giving him 2
days of rest…… God agreed and so we have
weekends.
54. A blind guy stepped on Agwambo’s shoe
and Agwambo yelled at him. The sound of
Agwambo’s’ voice enabled him to see.
Unfortunately the first and last thing he saw
was a fatal kick to his face.
55. Hard liquor gets drunk first before
Agwambo.
56. Whoever said “Only the good die young”
was probably in Agwambo’s kindergarten
class
